i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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