JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
