I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize