Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
