my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I forgot how hot balto sounded
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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