Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
