I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
