so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We have started to decorate penises.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
