It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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