I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize