i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Boobs are out for the taking
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
