I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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