Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
love makes seman taste better
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
