You can't motorboat a personality
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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