he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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