I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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