He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
