We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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