So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have already put on my inside pants.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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