So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
