i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
