:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
