The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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