More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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