Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
