So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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