if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
