now i know why i became what i already was.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
