If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
