their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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