Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
