How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
false alarm. still invincible.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
