the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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