I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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