just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
