Your face is a jimmy john
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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