That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
