and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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