Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
