Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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