My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
