yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
