He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
