if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
