Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
