finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
