i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
