today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
