I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize