The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
