I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
