THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize