can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
