I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize