I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
