when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
